2 years since Referral Day

Two years ago today, we got the call that we had a daughter in Maoming, China.  Two hours later our agency emailed us this picture of her.  Our sweet baby!  We love you so much, Ariel.

Referral Day

One year ago today, we got the call that we have a daughter. Then two hours later, our agency emailed us this photo. We were in love!

Meeting Ariel

April 19th, Guangzhou Civil Affairs Office, around 3 PM

That's her in the middle, in the pink outfit, carried by her nanny.

Ariel joins the family!

She seemed happy about the whole situation.
Her nice nanny stayed around to let her know it was okay.


She fell asleep on Jeff.

Receiving kisses.

Last post before lift-off

We are touched and overwhelmed by the support from our friends & neighbors here and our family & friends back home. Thank you all so much!

Don't be alarmed if we cannot update the blog right away - it probably means we're busy (in a good way!) or have technical issues.

Red & yellow: our route

Blue: Ariel's (Gang Hao Liang's) route from Maoming

• Friday, April 16 - arrive Beijing
  
• Saturday - Tiananmen Suare, Forbidden City, Summer Palace, optional acrobat show
  
• Sunday - church service, Great Wall, duck dinner
  
• Monday - Gotcha Day! AM - fly to Guangzhou, PM - meet Gang Hao Liang
  
• Tues - Wed, April 28 - many appointments, free time & sightseeing in Guangzhou
  
• Thursday - fly to Hawaii
  
• Friday - USCIS appointment to apply for Certificate of Citizenship (CoC)
  
• Sat-Sun - enjoy Hawaii!
  
• Mon-Fri - finish CoC business, apply for ss# and passport, play in Hawaii
  
• Sat - enjoy!
  
• Sun - Mon - fly home!

Busy times at the kichi

(Kichi = base)
Lots of details to accomplish and keep track of! I'm sure you'll understand if I don't respond to emails for a long time. We just really have to focus right now - on preparing for the trip and enjoying our last quiet week at home together.

Feeling organized! Good thing we'll pack light, because baby stuff takes up lots of room.

We can buy supplies there, but would rather be well-prepared for the first couple days.

Ralph (and Doraemon) go to work getting their scent on her clothes.

The ladybug shirt (from the Japanese baby store near us) says "I Am an Energetic" (ladybug.)

The Japanese have a clever way with English.

Gifts for nannies & officials:

cosmetics, pens, pretty handkerchiefs from Japan (but not overtly Japanese)



toys, books, feeding supplies

blankets, bibs, bows......

snackage!

meds

(the clinic here gave us even more, including 2 tubes of scabies cream)

Just a fraction of our paperwork and to-do list.

We're working out concrete travel plans with our super travel agent Sue Sorrels in Texas. She specializes in adoption travel. She's a cat-lover, so we have great rapport!

Got our TA!

Our agency called this morning at 3 AM to announce our TA (travel approval from China) arrived! What a relief!

They have to confirm our US Consulate appointment, but said they're thinking April 15th departure. That means April 16th for us (we're a day ahead.) Yippee!

more photos: Maogang SWI

I got these photos from Maoming Maogang Yahoo group.
SWI = social welfare institute (orphanage and/or nursing home)
Maogang SWI is in Maogang district of Maoming city.

Busy marketplace near Maogong SWI

baby room

cribs

cribs

orphanage exterior

another view (new part of the orphanage, as of 2005)

These photos are from 2005. I'm not sure if adoptive families got to visit then, or what. I've also learned from this Maogang Yahoo group that scabies is a past and current problem. Jeff & I will both see our doctors next week for scabies cream!

Maogang orphanage (Maoming City)

Maoming is in lower left of this map.

I had one dream about our girl: that she lived on the coast.

Her orphanage encompasses extreme southern Maoming City, along the coast of the South China Sea. I hear it's a small orphanage with about 20 children.

Her orphanage

She's already used to having a palm tree out her window!

You can see more photos of Maoming by clicking this link: Maoming Photos.

More here: other orphanages

I want to thank Brian Stuy at Research-China.Org for providing this info.

We ordered a video of Maoming City from him, as well as Gang Hao Liang's finding ad.

TAs arriving

Rumor is that Travel Approvals (TAs) for our batch of referrals are arriving.
It appears Renee & Joe got theirs. (Congrats!)
I don't think this means anyone knows travel dates for sure, though.

For a review of what has to happen before we get travel dates, see this post.

I had a nice phone chat with Fliss (only a few days away from travel!)

You have questions?

We have answers!

When do you go get her? We leave for Beijing Friday, April 16th. We'll probably meet Ariel in Guangzhou on April 19th! Our agency (America World) arranges appointments for our travel group with the Chinese and US governments.

How old is she now? 7.5 months

Heard anything? Any updates? Any new photos? If so, we will tell you on the blog. We did send a care package to her through Ann at Red Thread. Ann is well-connected and can sometimes get updated photos and measurements, but there is no guarantee. She said she asked twice and the orphanage (Maoming Maogang) said no. Please keep in mind that some of the info regarding Ariel's adoption and circumstances is private. We have waited a long time. Please let us enjoy.

Why does it take so long? Families (I-600 pre-Hague) usually wait 7-9 weeks from referral to travel. We send back an acceptance document, which our agency sends to China. China eventually issues us a Travel Approval (TA.) Our agency can use that to set up our appointments at our child's provincial capital (Guangzhou, in our case), and at the US Consulate in Guangzhou. Compared to the 4.5 years since we started the adoption, a few weeks is nothing.

Why do you have to stay there so long? We'll be in China about 2 weeks, and that's fine with us! First we'll meet our travel group (other families with America World) in Beijing for a weekend of sightseeing. Then we'll travel to Guangzhou in southeast China. There we'll meet her! We'll also meet with the Civil Affairs office in her provincial capital for an interview and some of her adoption documents. Later, we'll have business at the US Consulate in Guangzhou. She'll leave China with her Chinese passport, an Immediate Relative (IR-3) Visa to enter the US, her Chinese birth certificate, adoption decree, etc. It takes a while to do everything necessary to get these documents. Plus, we'll have some time for local sightseeing, shopping, free time, and getting to know our baby.

Do you have to stay there so they can see how you're bonding? No. We stay so long so we can take care of all the legalities. And those are very important (to China, to the US, and to us and Ariel's future as a US citizen.) It's nice that China assumes we will bond.

Do you go to her orphanage to get her? No, she'll probably travel by bus (maybe 6 hours?) with some orphanage workers to Guangzhou, China. They'll probably bring her to our hotel, but we might meet her in another building.

Try to go to her orphanage. We will ask. However, it's about 6 hours away from Guangzhou. I think we'll be the only family in our group with a child from that orphanage. So I doubt our agency guides would be willing to arrange a trip. The orphanage is likely closed to visitors/foreigners, but we will ask. If we went, we'd probably be on our own or with a privately-hired bilingual guide. I am thinking this trip will be stressful enough without trekking to Maoming. Believe me, traveling from point A to point B in China can be very, very stressful and risky (I found some of the driving terrifying last time I was there; trains are better, but even navigating the train stations can be tough - it's not like the US, Europe, or Japan.) However, I understand visiting her orphanage could ease her transition - seeing her caretakers & friends one more time (but I've also heard it can have the opposite effect.) By the way, there are about 6 orphanages in Maoming. Maogang is one of the smallest (about 20 children.)

Are you changing her name? I like to think of it as adding a name. We'll keep her Chinese given name (Hao Liang) as her middle name. We'll give her the first name Ariel. She will always have her full Chinese name, even if it's not on her American documents. So her full name will be Ariel Hao Liang Parks. Yes, the middle name is two separate words (don't worry, lots of people have two middle names with no problem.)

What's her Chinese name? Gang Hao Liang. Gang is the "last name" and other children in her orphanage were given the same last name. It comes from her orphanage name (Maogang district of Maoming city.) Hao Liang means "good pretty" or "very pretty." When we meet her, we'll ask her caretakers if they call her any nicknames.

How do you pronounce it? In English phonetics, it sounds like "Gahng How Lee-ahng" with very soft g's on the end. For my Japanese friends, the romaji is: gan hao rian.
I'll try to assign the Mandarin tones later.

She doesn't look Chinese. Last I checked, Chinese people have a wide variety of looks. Just like people in your country. We've seen lots of referral photos over the years, so we know they come in all varieties of cute.

Is anyone throwing you a baby shower? Dear friend & neighbor Angela B. is spearheading that project. We're thinking sometime in June (after Ariel is safely home.) We are lucky to have such nice friends here who can't wait to meet the little cherub.

What do you need? We have most everything. We've had lots of time to acquire things. Friends & family have been thoughtful with gifts and hand-me-downs. She could use some bath toys and other toys for a young baby (she's 7 months old now.) We listed some childproofing items and special books on her Amazon registry.

Why are you going to Hawaii? Are you going straight there? Yes, we're going straight to Honolulu (for about a week) after Guangzhou. She can enter the US with her IR-3 visa and Chinese passport. In Hawaii, we'll file her N600-K (for naturalization as a US citizen.) We'll get her Certificate of Citizenship (CoC), US passport, and social security number there. For military families, there's a way to do this all from Japan, but I think it's a long and convoluted process. We'd rather go through Hawaii, which is used to dealing with US expats & military in Asia. Our friends just did this in Hawaii for their daughter, and it went very smoothly for them. Plus, a Hawaii "vacation" will be nice!

(What I wish people would ask) What will you need as soon as you arrive home? Happy cats and a tidy house. Our trusty cat-sitter, Sam, will take care of this (he'll be bunkin' with the cats while we're gone.) Also, someone to meet us at the airport with Ariel's car seat, and some water & snacks. I've already suckered some friends into this favor. We also need friends to understand that Jeff & I will be the primary holders & feeders of Ariel for a while. This is important for bonding, but we'll see how she does.

How much does she weigh? We don't know how much she weighs now (at 7.5 months - she was born August 15, 2009.) If her medical report is accurate (kind of hard to interpret), at 5.5 months, she weighed 4.8 kg (about 11 pounds.) At about 7 days, she was 2.8 kg (6.2 pounds.) Her smallness is typical for southern Chinese girls. We guess she'll be in 6-9 month clothes (possibly some 0-6 month) and Japanese size 70-80.

Do you think you'll adopt again? This is pretty personal. Just let us enjoy the here and now. If your name is "Aunt Sandie" then you can ask a question like this.

What if you get there and they offer you another (additional) child? This just doesn't happen in China adoption.

Have you lined up childcare? No. At some point, we'll find a trustworthy babysitter. But for now, just remember: we have waited 4.5 years.

Are you going to tell her she was adopted? (I can't believe somebody really asked me this.) It will be part of our talk from the very beginning. We have lots of tools and guidance on how to help her understand and explore it as she grows.

How do you feel about a million questions? To be frank, sometimes they get on my nerves. I know people just want to show kind interest, but other times they just want to satisfy their curiosity or make a point without regard for our feelings. Remember, we've probably been asked the same questions 500 times. A barrage of questions is not the way to my heart. A few questions asked tactfully and in private are fine. Once we have our child, I will appreciate even more tact and restraint when asking questions (in her presence, even if you think she can't understand.) If you are seriously looking into adopting yourself, then I'd be happy to talk with you about it in private. Some nice questions are: How did you choose her name? What drew you to China? What are her interests? How does she interact with the cats? Do you think you'll visit China with her someday?

Will you host this event / coordinate this function / work the spring bazaar / serve on the OSC board next year / volunteer at this event? Ask me 8-12 months from now. Don't waste your energy even asking now.

Are you taking her back to the US right away to show family? We'd like to spend time at our home (in Japan) relaxing, getting to know her, and establishing a routine. So we don't know when we'd take her back to the US (it's a long flight from Tokyo), but not right away. I don't even want to make any plans now - just have some solid time to establish her new home.

Yaoyao pronounces Hao Liang

I wanted to post this again, because the last video isn't working for some reason. I hope this one works.

See how lovely Yaoyao pronounces "Hao Liang" (meaning "very pretty.")

We don't know our travel dates yet, and probably won't know for a while. Trust me, we want to know more than anyone "when," so we'll share that info when we find out (hint, hint - it seems like I've been asked a thousand times already.)

Everyone wants to know "what's the delay?" Well, it's not really a delay, just standard administrative tasks. We take it for granted we know what happens next, but I guess everyone expects it to be instantaneous or something.

1. We mailed our acceptance letter to our agency, who mailed it to the CCAA (in China.)
2. The CCAA will (at some point) issue a Travel Approval (TA) for us via our agency.
3. Then our agency can make an appointment for our travel group at the US Consulate in Guangzhou, China. We all need to appear at this appointment, so our travel dates hinge on that. They will issue our child's IR-3 Visa, so she can enter the US (in our case, Hawaii, where we'll take care of her naturalization.)
4. AND there's a lot that will happen in China - that's why we have to stay there at least 10 days. All those details are for another post, if you're interested.
5. I understand a lot of this paperwork leading up to travel happens by snail mail - that's why it takes 7-9 weeks from referral to travel.

One more time

Okay, now I truly believe they take their jobs seriously in the matching room.

(photo of Ralph submitted with 4/6/06 dossier)

Bet you didn't know....

• her favorite toy is a shaking bell (maybe like a rattle)
• she enjoys custard creams four times a day
• she can say "nan" (hope this means she'll like Indian food)
• she likes listening to music in bed
• she's drinking Nestle formula, eating vegetable soup, soup with meat, and cod liver oil

care package update

Ann at Red Thread just emailed us with these photos of the care package:

Candies for the nannies, soft album with 6 photos we sent, translated letter to the staff (love how Ralph & Doraemon signed it, too.)

Hope Gang Hao Liang likes it!

Ann also requested updates and photos from the SWI.

Yaoyao pronounces "Hao Liang"

Yaoyao and her sweet daughter Rebecca came over last week to help translate Ariel's referral info (it's mostly in Chinese.) Becca and the cats are good buddies. Yaoyao, who is from China, has offered great support in the short time I've known her.


Here's her video lesson:
(notice Becca climbing up the slide!)

her name in Zhongwen (Chinese)

This is written on the back of her photos.

Ariel Hao Liang Parks

Chinese name: Gang Hao Liang (Gang is the "last name")

We'll call her: Ariel Hao Liang Parks

Size: pretty small

Medical report: healthy

Born: August 15, 2009
Location: Maoming Social Welfare Institute, Mao Gang district, Guangdong Province

Other info in referral package: is quiet, deep sleeper, no teeth, smiles readily, likes listening to music, and is closest to her caretaker

Tentative travel: mid-April, possibly early May

Conclusion: Precious!

Referral week (lots of photos)

Her referral package arrived today, and our acceptance letter is in the mail to our agency. You can see many photos from our exciting week on this link: Flickr Referral Week set.

"Before"

4 PM Monday, March 1st at the New Sanno Hotel shoppette in Tokyo.

Starting to feel the adrenaline.

We expected our call sometime in the middle of the night.

"After"

Tuesday morning, March 2nd. Leah called us at 4:20 AM about our referral.

Thursday, March 4th
Saito, the Fed Ex guy arrives at the hospital lab where I volunteer.
I'd been soothing my nerves with lots of urinalysis.


"We accept!"
My neighbor Tracy took this photo.
Jeff is away again on a work trip, but he gave me power of attorney.

Boys, you will love her!

That's her!

Mini-Parks

Currently at Maoming City Social Welfare Institute (Mao Gang district)

Guangdong Province, China

When we saw her photo this morning (about 2 hours after the phone call), our first reaction was "That's her!" After 4.5 years of talking about her, it was an epiphany. Obviously, she is our daughter!

We have never seen a referral picture in this desk-like chair before. Doesn't it look like she's been doing calculus? Well, we won't pressure her into that too quickly.

We submitted this photo of Ralph with our April 2006 dossier.

I see a resemblance!

Tentative travel to China: mid-April or early May (avoiding Guangzhou trade show in late April.)

We got the call!

She is 6.5 months old and from Guangdong Province!

Our awesome family coordinator called us at 4:20 AM (afternoon for her) with the good news!

We slept a little, but were tossing & turning most of the night. What a great way to wake up!